Monday, July 14, 2008

CWA Peeps and Invisible Adoptions

This weekend, as I mentioned, was spent with our CWA peeps at the Taylor Ranch in Flat Rock, NC. It was HOT, but so much fun. I felt like I already knew everyone because I follow most of their blogs. It was so surreal to meet them in person. I met this family, this family, this family, this family, this family, and this family. We also reconnected with this great family. Believe me when I say the kiddos we met are even cuter in person! We also got to meet the ambassador from Kyrg that works in DC. We also got to chat with the in-country facilitator and stateside Kyrg facilitators. Our family would not be what it is without those two awesome dedicated ladies! C also got to talk to our Russian facilitator at CWA, but he doesn't remember her at all. She remembers him, though.C and daddy tried their luck at fishing AP and JJ (above) were in cribs next to each other in Tokmok! Do they remember? No.. But that didn't stop us from taking pics :) (I stole this last pic off of G's blog, AP's expression is hilarious)

After the main picnic, the Kyrg families continued the party at a resort/lodge/cabin kind-of place. It was the perfect set-up for the parents to get to chat and all the kiddos to run around wear themselves out. S and her family from Tapsalteerie Farms did an awesome job of coordinating everything and getting all the food. The homemade ice cream was the bomb! C made a great friend while we were there. They played non-stop and were so much alike it was uncanny. Too bad his little friend lives in Raleigh :(

As far as the invisible adoption part of this post, it's after weekends like this past one, that I have a sort of guilt about C's adoption not being quite as obvious as AP's. I'm sure there were other Russia families there, but you just can't tell. We didn't meet any of them. C looks just like us, so no one ever asks about when he came home or where he was adopted from. It's almost like his adoption is overshadowed by his sister's. I don't ever want him to think that we don't celebrate his adoption just as much. Do any of you other Russia adoptive parents feel that way?


JILL said...

I just want to say that the picture of AP and JJ hugging is very adorable.

JJ's Aunt

Perky said...

Yes, I know exactly what you mean about "invisible adoption". My brother (non-bio) and I were both adopted and, although neither of us really looks like our parents, we always looked enough like each other that people who saw my family would just assume that when you put my mom and dad together, the kids come out looking like us!

Fast forward 30-some years and now I've adopted kids. My older son is the spitting image of my husband! It's so strange! People say it all the time and it's true - he really does look like my husband. He doesn't look so unlike me that people would suspect he's adopted, either. Our younger son, however, is ethnically Roman (Gypsy) and looks Indian (sub-continental Indian not Native American Indian). He has black hair and eyes and in the summer, he gets very dark. It's pretty darn obvious that he's adopted.

Personally, I don't mind. I think it's great both ways. It gives me the opportunity to discuss adoption on more levels with more people. I always knew I'd adopt and I love to advocate for adoption. For people who are uncomfortable with the thought of their children not resembling them, I can point to my older son and show how similar he is. For other people, I can point to my younger son (who is absolutely ADORABLE, by the way) and show how he may look different, but how he's my husband's mini-me in so many ways!

One more thought --- when people ask me if my younger son is adopted, I respond that all three of us are adopted. I always include myself. It seems to change the dynamics of the conversation.

Shane & Marie said...

What a wonderful weekend and a chance to spend with other families. The kiddos are so cute!

Jackie S said...

I'm a bit behind on my blog visiting lately. Thanks for sharing pics from the picnic. Between you and Gen, I get to see all the beautiful Kyrgyz kiddos and their families.

I hope CWA won't mind if I crash a future event. I would love to see everyone that I feel I know so well through blogs.

Love the pics, and love the new look of your blog, too ;)

Gen 's Family Story said...

Love the photos! Now it's my turn to steal photos:) I have to share that we feel like we have an invisible adoption also, we always get questions about how far apart are our kids and they never ask if they were adopted...and that's with my husband around...I love the action shots, and AP with Ashton is very sweet!

Rachel said...

Alex was adopted from Russia, but definitely has Asian in him. I rarely have been asked if he was adopted, because I think people assume my husband is Asian.

Scarlett is a different story. I get asked less when Alex is around (because they look so much alike), than when it's just she and I. I agree with some of the other comments, that I like to talk about each of them and how different the experiences were. And sometimes, when I get a, "She's so beautiful" comment, I just say, "Thank you. She is, isn't she?"

Love the pics!